7 Boundaries You Must Set to Protect Your Peace and Happiness

The Day I Became a ‘Yes’ Machine – And How I Finally Took My Power Back

I used to be a people-pleaser. No, scratch that—I was a full-time, award-winning, Olympic-level "Yes" machine. If someone needed a favor, I was there before they finished their sentence. If a friend wanted to borrow my notes, my pen, and maybe even my soul, I’d hand it over with a smile. If my aunties asked why I wasn’t married yet, I’d laugh awkwardly and change the subject instead of setting boundaries.

It all came crashing down one fateful week.

It started on a Monday. My boss asked if I could cover for a colleague who had “urgent personal matters” I agreed, because, you know, teamwork.

Tuesday, a friend called at midnight, sobbing over a breakup. I listened, offered advice, and even drafted a text response for her ex. (Who does that?)

By Wednesday, my mother had volunteered me to organize a family wedding. Not mine, mind you,my cousin’s. (The one I hadn’t spoken to since 2015.)

Thursday, my neighbor guilt-tripped me into babysitting her twins. I don’t even like kids that much, but somehow, there I was, covered in baby poop and regrets.

By Friday, I was exhausted. Emotionally, physically, spiritually,every ‘-ly’ possible. That evening, as I sat in my room, drained and defeated, my phone buzzed. It was another request.

Could I help a distant cousin’s friend move houses?

That was it. I snapped.

 Setting Boundaries Without Guilt

I realized something that night—if I kept saying “yes” to everyone else, I’d keep saying “no” to myself. And that wasn’t sustainable. So, I made some changes, and here’s what I learned:

1. Self-Care Isn’t Selfish

If you don’t take care of yourself, who will? I started carving out time for things that recharged me—whether it was reading, taking a walk, or just sitting in silence without someone asking for a favor.

2. It’s Okay to Ask for Space

You are not a machine. You need time to breathe, rest, and exist without external demands. I stopped overbooking my weekends and learned to say, "I’d love to, but I need some time to recharge."

3. Saying “No” is a Right, Not a Privilege

It took me years to understand this, but no is a complete sentence. You don’t owe anyone an explanation. If someone can’t respect your no, they probably don’t respect you.

4. Protect Your Emotional Energy

Some people are like energy vampires—they drain you with their endless problems, negativity, and drama. I started limiting my interactions with people who always needed me but were never there when I needed them.

5. Acknowledge Your Limits

I used to think I could handle everything—until I couldn’t. Learning to recognize my limits helped me prioritize my peace.

6. Defend Your Personal Values

I used to compromise my values just to fit in. Not anymore. I stand by what I believe in, even if it means disappointing people who expected me to be their doormat.

7. Prioritize Your Mental Well-being

Your mental health is just as important as your physical health. If something stresses you out constantly, it’s okay to walk away from it. You don’t need to justify protecting your peace.

The Takeaway

Setting boundaries isn’t about being selfish; it’s about self-preservation. It’s about creating a life where you are in control of your time, energy, and happiness.

So, if you’re a recovering "Yes" machine like I was, take it from me—it’s okay to say no. The world won’t end. Your true friends and family will understand. And most importantly, you’ll finally have time to breathe, rest, and enjoy life on your terms.

Have you ever struggled with setting boundaries? Let’s talk about it in the comments!

(Also, if you’ve got a good "I couldn’t say no" story, I’d love to hear it—purely for research purposes, of course.)